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-rw-r--r--doc/STORYLINE31
1 files changed, 14 insertions, 17 deletions
diff --git a/doc/STORYLINE b/doc/STORYLINE
index 22c29e8..7bc30e0 100644
--- a/doc/STORYLINE
+++ b/doc/STORYLINE
@@ -69,7 +69,7 @@
- Antwerp system
starbase Helianthos (guards the border)
Buccaneer's Den pirate base
- planet Hoboken
+ planet Hoboken?
BORDERWORLDS (not claimed by any lawfull faction)
@@ -229,14 +229,11 @@ The Alliance
the Imperial Flagship, primary target of the assault, had taken massive damage and was
burning in the flames of explosive decompression. It was at the heart of the fleet
when it exploded, and most of the heavy fighters and cruisers were hit by the shockwave
- and the massive rain of high-speed metallic debris following it. Some managed to retreat
+ and the massive rain of high-speed metallic debris behind it. Some managed to retreat
to Tsu-Khan space, most fell victim to the united firepower of the Alliance fleet.
News of the victory spread through the Colonies like fire, and the battle became legendary
- even before the Alliance fleet had returned home. The heroic tales of the fleet plowing
- through the Emperial forces like a knight with his spear, gave birth to the name
- "Battle of The Lance".
-
+ before the Alliance fleet had even returned home.
------------------------------------------------------------------
@@ -312,16 +309,16 @@ I. Business
to the point.
Brent was the business type. "The rising star of the Regula mining operations,
- overseeing all shipments of karpax ore in the Ghant system", to quote his words.
+ overseeing all shipments of niobium ore in the Ghant system", to quote his words.
His phrases like "A smart man could make a fortune" sounded rather hollow to me,
but he did have a point. 500 runs to Regula to pay the loan for the ship.
Another 1500 more to get myself a ship big enough to hold a small cabin with all the
luxuries a simple life would need.
Repetetive? Boring? Perfect! Add an autopilot and this life could be more relaxing
- then a luxury vacantion on Lantania. With this simple business but rock-solid plan
- laid out in front of me I managed to convince the manager of the local planetairy
- bank to provide me with the necessary funds for my operation which were quickly
+ then a luxury vacation on an exotic planet. With this simple business but rock-solid plan
+ laid out in front of me I managed to convince the manager of the local planetary
+ bank to provide me with the necessary funds for my operation, which I quickly
exchanged for Micron Corporation's latest Vector model. It's a small ship:
the cockpit, a living compartment with a sleeping corner and a cargo hold
just big enough to hold a few metric tons of whatever the owner had in mind.
@@ -342,12 +339,11 @@ I. Business
CM-2542. It must have jumped in when I was docked at Regula.
Curious. While the Ghant system was officialy under the jurisdiction of the
- Outer Colonies, nobody had any real business here. Karpax was without doubt
- a valuable commodity. With proper processing it can be used to produce alloys harder
- then plasteel and lighter then aluminox. Since there was no real shortage of the ore
- my guess was that the military's interests would lie elsewhere. For now, I decided
- to ignore the matter. I wasn't about to meddle into military affairs and let unfortunate
- circumstances ruin my life again.
+ colonies, nobody had any real business here. Niobium was without doubt a valuable
+ commodity, but since there was no real shortage of the oremy guess was that the
+ military's interests would lie elsewhere. For now, I decided to ignore the matter.
+ I wasn't about to meddle into military affairs and let unfortunate circumstances ruin
+ my life again.
Nevertheless it was hard to ignore the massive battleship looming over the outpost,
but I docked and went straight to the bar. The bartender looked at me as I walked in
@@ -437,4 +433,5 @@ III. The suit
I turned around, walked to the elevator at the end of the corridor and pressed the button.
After a few seconds the doors opened with a joyfull chime and I stepped inside. "Level 6".
The elevator seemed to consider my request when the doors finaly closed and it started
- moving upward.
+ moving upward. Casually I leaned against the back wall, my right hand trying to catch the
+ yawn escaping my mouth.